Courageous HEART

In loving response to the recent murders of George Floyd, Breonna Taylor, and Ahmaud Arbery- and to the preciousness of each of their lives.

Not until my son was born into this world did I truly understand the first thing about devotion; my maternal adoration for him has become my Bhakti practice. And when I experience despair or incongruency within myself or within this world, as so many of us are right now, his sheer presence beckons a return to Truth; lifting me towards hope and elevated awareness. The gift of his BEING has opened an interior door within me that I never knew existed and perhaps to a greater degree has knocked down some reinforcements that had sufficiently until his arrival, been a barrier around my heart. Because of him I am now, and forever will be, a disciple of The Heart.

These teachings have been revelatory over time, but none was made more clear to me than when I was at his bedside in the NICU where he spent the first four months of his life. The sacred Truth expounded was that when the ego is stripped away, the essential nature of us ALL is pure ineffable Love. As I sat with him and held his hand as if each may be the last, time seemed to dissolve. I existed in this quietude between thoughts. In this uninterrupted place I could REALLY SEE HIM, and not just him but all of the babies in the NICU with him; all breathing together in solidarity. I could see them- the preciousness and fragility of their lives… just beaming with Light; loved unconditionally for existing. Their existence was itself the teaching; an experience life had ripened me to receive in the precision of that moment, but also one which I will never really be able to succinctly put into words.

And when the walls do come down as they did when I witnessed the pure Love and Truth on the face of my beautiful boy and the faces of all of those babies, the heart is laid bare. There’s simply nowhere to hide, not from yourself and not from others. And this is surrendering. The ego is subdued and put in its proper place, as pure Light and Knowing unapologetically shine forth. And when the truth IS revealed, as much as others might try to dim that Light or as much as you may want to turn away from it at times, you simply can’t. You can’t un-ring that bell. Whatever Truth is known cannot then be un-known, and this kind of KNOWING I speak of is not property of the mind but rather felt within the deepest recesses of the Soul.

So, let the discord and reinforcements that barricade our hearts collapse and fall away; they were never real to begin with. Each and every one of us is someone’s child. We share in that preciousness. At the core of our being, personality stripped away, we are the same and because of that we are ONE. We are being called now to remember the reverance for all of life. Not one of us is more important than another. Within each of us is a Mother and within each of us is a Child- the fierce protector and pure abiding innocence.

The heart is more courageous than any ego wielding a weapon will ever be. When you enter the terrain of the heart your repsonse in life is right action; the ego will only lead you astray. And as long as one of us is suffering we are all suffering. Any love that is felt by one is felt by the whole. Each of us is responsible for contributing to the healing of the whole, and it begins within each of us as an internal pursuit. So in our bleakest moments, both individually and collectively, we might ask ourselves whether our devotion and allegiance is to Light and Truth or to darkness and fear. May we all come and go from this life in peace.

-Chrissy Leake